The Yellow Butterfly

Wow this month has quickly passed us by. We are continuing to take it one day at a time and finding joy in each moment we have with each other and our family and friends. Scott is back into his routine with work and Mckenzie and I are keeping very busy, or should I say Mckenzie is keeping me very busy. In the past few weeks she now runs everywhere.... walking is a thing of the past and is talking up a storm. She now says thank you and love you and her favorite go outside mommy.... she is a chip off the old block and wants to spend every waking moment outside no matter the temperature... We've started walking in the mornings which is a great start to our day and then spend the rest of the day at parks, playgrounds, the pool or just our backyard. She like her brother seems to find joy in all the simple things and just is happiest being with family and friends.

Tucker continues to consume our daily thoughts and his spirit continues to shine everywhere we go. Missing him doesn't get any easier, I must say as days go by we miss him even more and continue to talk about him all day every day.... I've always believed in "signs" or someones spirit returning in a different form but Scott wasn't a believer until just recently. Several of Tucker's best buddies and their parents have shared stories with us on different occasions about the yellow butterfly. Jackson's mom emailed me one day several weeks ago and shared with me that since Tucker passed away, their has been a yellow butterfly that will appear whenever Jackson is playing outside or riding his bike and will chase him around. Not just on one occasion but very frequently. She told me that she just felt like it was Tucker playing with him. The following week Jack's mom and Dad had the kids down by the creek watering Tucker's garden and pulling weeds and she called me that evening to tell me that there was a yellow butterfly that was at the garden the whole time they were there. It chased Jack and Maddie around and even let Jack pet it for a while. It only left when Scott and Mckenzie drove by in the Jeep and then came back. So I shared these stories with Scott and he just gave me a look like neat but you're crazy..... Well since that day a yellow butterfly appears on a daily basis no matter where we are or what we are doing. Yesterday, Mckenzie and I went to visit my Mom and Dad, my sister and her family in Mathews. Not long after we arrived, we were in my parents sun room and my sister said, look Mom there is a butterfly near your butterfly bush... yep you guessed it, it was a yellow butterfly. I could go on and on with stories about where they have appeared in the past few weeks but it is somewhat comforting to know that he is always with us.

Scott and I were able to get away just the 2 of us I (and believe it or not the yellow butterfly would make at least one appearance everyday) last week for a much needed get away. We spent the week together and were able to decompress a bit, relax and enjoy some time just the 2 of us. Mckenzie spent the week with Nana and Grandad and had a blast. I'm thinking Nana and Grandad might need a vacation now that we are home. I'll post some updated pictures soon of our trip as well as Miss Mckenzie, she is getting so big!! We continue to be strengthened so much by all of your continued thoughts, prayers, phone calls, emails, cards and visits. Faith, good friends and an amazing family is the only way we are getting through this new phase of our journey.

Summer sun...

Wow, it's hard to believe that Memorial Day weekend has passed and that summer has arrived. It was a hot, humid, sunny weekend here in Richmond. We spent the weekend close to home, playing outside and spending some time at the pool. Mckenzie loves the water and is going to be quite a handful at the pool this summer. She has no fear of the water and spent lots of time walking around socializing and making new friends.... reminds me of someone else I know :-) She refuses to wear a hat and decided that she would encourage all of the other kids around her not to wear their hats too.... she would walk up to them and try to pull their hats off of their heads... Oh yes, she would walk up to them, take their hat off and just giggle....

Scott spent most of the weekend with the demolition and rebuilding of our deck. It's a project that has been on our "to do" list since we moved here and a project that Scott is very excited to be in the midst of. He made great progress this weekend and I can't wait to see the finished project. I had my first "productive" weekend that I have had in months which was such a good feeling. I am laughing while I type this because I didn't do anything extraordinary, just things that most do on a daily basis that I haven't been able to complete in quite a while. A sense of accomplishment for doing just ordinary tasks is a step in the right direction. I grocery shopped, ran errands, did laundry, and fixed dinner all in the same day..... huge accomplishment and something that Scott still laughs about when I start to toot my own horn....

Scott and I started grief counseling several weeks ago and our counselor asked us last week, "Do you feel like normal everyday tasks are a chore?" She is so right... it's all a part of grief and will get easier with time for sure, but for now it's nice to know that what we are going through what is "normal" for this stage in the game. Mckenzie, like her brother loves being outside and even woke up yesterday morning before 7:00 saying bye- bye, go outside..... looks like it's going to be a long hot summer outside and I can't wait!! In between working on the deck and my "productivity" we did spend time friends, celebrated Maddie's 2nd birthday and finished the weekend off with a cookout with lots of good food and good friends. I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend filled with sunshine, laughter and lots of good memories...